.;* hey there and welcome to my page! <3 *;.
these are my drawings on a 480x360 canvas, inspired by the sprite editor of scratch 1.4.
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if viewing on mobile, you may want to use desktop mode... i have not yet made the site nice for mobile
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01.04.24 ~ Lieutenant Commander Data catboy maid REAL ! ? !
26.02.24 ~ it was something i said to the woman at the gender clinic. doing intake stuff, she asked me the stock question: "do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong body?" its the kind of question that doesnt have a very simple answer, its not just a yes or a no. the quickest thing i could relate to her that seemed like an answer to the question was this. when i look at myself in the mirror, and i look at my body, sometimes it feels like there's a magazine clipping taped up, an image of someone else superimposed over me. almost like it isnt quite real.
i started taping recently. its been bringing up a lot of buried feelings, dragging them up from the depths, all coated in mud and alge and peat. its been strange work, and a little painful. allowing myself to feel things that i've numbed myself to for so long, with no way to change my circumstances. something as intimate as one's body--it really is bizarre, being so familiar with it, yet feeling so detatched. its scary sometimes, since this is the only body i have. without it what would i be? i think that sometimes i get overly attatched to it in its current state, like a broken down car thats been rotting in the yard for years. and, generally, i'm afraid of change. so my brain frets about it, almost like its scared i'm going to lose it, like if it changes too much it'll cease being my own. but that's ridiculous. it will always be mine, and i'm grateful for that. as many times as i look at it and feel lost, and like it isnt my own, there are other times when i look at myself and i see the potential. the potential to feel whole.
09.02.24 ~ just some sketches. stay cozy, folks <3
16.01.24 ~ as promised, behold Zurian. i feel like "Mayra's" design benefitted from the simplicity so i didn't adjust it much, but i feel like Zurian needed more of an update. to stay true to intention, he HAS to look super edgy & emo & cool, yknow. he needed the bells and whistles. this piece made me realize i need to do far more environmental art. i dont think environments actually take me longer than figures, but they feel like they do, you know? i get lost in fiddling with a character but working on an environment feels unnatural. i'm happy with how this one came out and want to get more comfortable with the process in the future
08.01.24 ~ happy new year!!! omg havent posted since september, so sad!!! i havent drawn too much in the last couple weeks, and i've missed it a lot. been feeling kind of wound up, still decompressing from the end of dec, so i really just felt like drawing something quick and rough and indulgent to relax and have some fun. seemed like the perfect opportunity to return and post again :) i've been fueled by nightcore for the last few days, so i felt compelled to let loose and draw like it was 2013. well, i guess thats kind of the whole premise of the blog actually... this is an old oc of mine. their name was Mayra, but i think i'll probably change that to something more imaginative lol. of course, they were designed as a set with another oc, who was basically identical but with an "edgier" colour scheme. very creative. maybe i'll do one of them as well. >:3c oh! forgot to mention, as a follow up to my tablet woes a few months ago, i thought it would be a good idea to get a drawing device that could handle higher image resolutions (not particularly relevant here but relevant elsewhere lol) so i got myself an android tablet!! i love it a lot, it draws well, the pen is comfy to use and i got a very cute pastel purple case for it :) plus, its kinda nice to draw on a screen again. anyways sorry for the rant!!! here's to 2024 and making art that makes us feel happy and fulfilled.
19.09.23 ~ wow, already 2/3 through september... really let this one slip me by. though, i feel like i've let pretty much the whole year slip me by tbh. anyways! didn't intend to return with such a gloomy piece, but when i made a new doc i just felt like doing a vent piece. honestly, i have really been struggling lately. either way im glad finally make a new post, hopefully i'll get a couple more in before the month is over lol!
28.08.23 ~ my sister has lent me a mini usb cable so i can use my old tablet now yay ^a^ its gonna take a little while to get used to it again after drawing directly on the screen for so long. just a quick doodle to celebrate... wondering if this will end up being my last post for august?
22.08.23 ~ peaceful creachure. is she amphibian maybe? i drew this one on my phone, which has a much more saturated screen, so now on my laptop it looks quite pastel and washed out...
18.08.23 ~ i cannot get my stylus to work, so i thought it'd be a good time to dust off the ol' trackpad. just like the old days, posting trackpad vent art lamenting your tablet woes. it's certainly still as demoralizing when your pen breaks as it was back then
15.08.23 ~ some kind of creachures... they seem to be having a good time
11.08.23 ~ being completely honest here.. the puppet was made only to cover up the hand that wasnt working out
10.08.23 ~ wanted to draw a base kinda thing
09.08.23 ~ im thinking miku :)
firealpaca
scratch 1.4
ibispaint(mobile)
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